Couples and Relationship Counseling in Roseville, CA
Whether you're experiencing an issue in your marriage, dating relationship, or even a difficult person in the workplace, therapy can be a great way to make improvements in your relationships. Developing boundaries, enhancing communication skills, and improving self-care are just a few of the many ways that therapy can help.
Counseling is a great way to explore matters that are important to you and develop insight in to the issues you're facing. Sometimes when you're in the situation, it can be difficult to make sense of the relationship and how to improve things. It can feel like you've already tried everything possible to make things better. Counseling can help you see things from different angles, gain perspective, and empower you to move forward in a healthy way. Attachment in Couples Counseling: Insights from Emotionally Focused Therapy
Attachment theory is a cornerstone of modern couples counseling, offering profound insights into how individuals form and maintain emotional bonds. At its core, attachment theory posits that humans are wired for connection. In the context of romantic relationships, this connection provides a sense of security, comfort, and belonging. When attachment bonds are strong, couples feel emotionally attuned and supported. However, when these bonds are strained or disrupted, conflict, disconnection, and distress often follow. Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), developed by Dr. Sue Johnson, uses attachment theory as its foundation to help couples understand and repair their emotional bonds. EFT views most relationship problems as stemming from unmet attachment needs or fears of disconnection. In moments of conflict or distance, partners often engage in reactive behaviors—criticism, withdrawal, or defensiveness—that mask their deeper vulnerabilities. These behaviors, while protective in nature, can inadvertently push partners further apart. For example, a partner who feels neglected might lash out with anger, while their partner, overwhelmed by the intensity, withdraws. Beneath the surface, the angry partner might be saying, "Do you see me? Do I matter to you?" while the withdrawing partner might be thinking, "I don’t know how to meet your needs, and I’m scared of failing." EFT helps couples recognize these patterns and uncover the underlying emotions driving their interactions. See the video below to learn more about how attachment plays a role in how couples interact with one another. In therapy, couples are guided to move from blame and reactivity to vulnerability and connection. By identifying and expressing their primary emotions—such as fear, sadness, or longing—partners can begin to reach for each other in ways that foster closeness. EFT creates a safe environment for couples to experience what Johnson calls “bonding moments,” where emotional accessibility and responsiveness rebuild trust and intimacy.
The ultimate goal of EFT is to strengthen the couple’s attachment bond, transforming cycles of disconnection into patterns of connection. When couples feel emotionally secure, they are better equipped to navigate challenges, resolve conflicts, and deepen their relationship. By integrating attachment theory with practical interventions, EFT provides a powerful framework for healing and growth in couples counseling. |
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Love has an immense ability to help heal the devastating wounds that life sometimes deals us. Sue Johnson-